


A Place to Stand

by Kariki



Category: James Bond (Movies), Portal (Video Game), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Bondlock reference, Gen, M/M, Poorly thoughtout crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kariki/pseuds/Kariki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There must have been better times for Bond to learn Q's real name - times that didn't involve the younger man being kidnapped and forced to solve deathtrap puzzles created by an insane computer.  (James Bond (Skyfall)/Portal crossover with hints of Bondlock thrown in)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Place to Stand

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing gets the writing juices flowing like a new fandom.

Q scrambled through the small gap in the wall as the deafening sound of bullets hitting glass rang out just behind him. He ducked to the side and pressed close to the wall, his heart hammering in his chest. The bullets stopped and the high pitched voice chirped “Are you still there?”

Q let out a shaking sob of a breath and slid down the rusty wall and closed his eyes.

“Q!” He was aware of Bond screaming in his ear, the small microphone miraculously still lodged in place, despite the surprising amount of acrobatics, tumbles, and falls he had been through the last... oh, god, how long as it been? “Q, answer me! That was gunfire! Q!”

“Military androids,” Q corrected, his voice deceptively calm as his hands shook around the portal gun. “No, no, sorry. This course was _designed _for military androids.”__

__He heard Bond curse over the line. No, Bond wasn't cut out for a desk job... and Q certainly wasn't cut out for field work. Of course, neither of them had any choice in this matter. Q's sudden disappearance and subsequent reappearance at one of the old Aperture Science Labs took care of that. They didn't want Bond, or any of the other 00s. They wanted a scientist._ _

__“It's fine. I'm fine.” Q reassured the frantic secret agent. “When are you coming, by the way? Is it soon?”_ _

__“We'll get you out of there, Q.” Bond avoided the question. There was no 'Hows' in Bond's world, just blind dumb luck and a Go-Get'Em attitude. Q could really use those right now._ _

__Q finally opened his eyes and looked at his small shelter. Empty water jugs and empty cans of beans littered the ground and the walls... the walls were covered in scribbled nonsense. Oh, right._ _

__“Someone has been here,” Q stood, forcing his sore and tired muscles to work. “They found a way to pry an opening in the wall. Away from the cute shooty things...”_ _

__“Shooty things?” Bond repeated, tone forcibly light._ _

__“Eggs on tripods.... Turrets.”_ _

__“And they're cute?”_ _

__“Not really, no... just their voices.” Q looked over the scribbled writing again._ _

__The cake is a lie._ _

__“Whoever it was, they're not here now.” They were probably long dead. Q wasn't even sure how he was still alive._ _

__“Just... hold on a bit longer, Q.” Q pretended not to hear the slight desperate note in the older man's voice. “As soon as we figure out where you are...”_ _

__“My knight in shining armor,” Q murmured, not caring if Bond heard him. Seemed a bit silly to worry about coming off as a desperate love sick puppy when there are tiny robots less than twenty feet away, ready to shoot you. “Sherrinford.”  
He could hear Bond stop and mentally go through his mental Rolodex of code words and phrases but coming up blank._ _

__“My name,” Q – Sherrinford clarified. “My name is Sherrinford. Seems a waste that you don't know...”_ _

__“I'm going to get you out of there,” Bond insisted, his voice taking on a hard note. Determined. Q didn't say anything to contradict him._ _

__“Sherrinford,” Bond repeated after a moment and the smug smirk Q imagined spreading across Bond's lips made him smiling slightly as well. “It suits you.”_ _

__“Thank you... James. But please, keep the horrific nicknames for later.”_ _

__“Of course, Sherry.”_ _

__Normally, when confronted with such a horrid epithet, he would glower and insult... but hearing from James Bond, while he was in this hellhole, made his heart twinge. No matter what 007 said, there was no way they were going to find him and there was no way Q could last many more tests. He wasn't sure he was going to survive this one. This wasn't his element – fighting, violence, physical exertions... he could fire a gun like the best of them, he could even do a few fighting moves, but that was all self defense against normal human beings (And even then Q had his doubts about how effective he could perform such actions on real attackers) but these... these were robots and computers..._ _

__Robots and Computers._ _

__The shaking in his limbs were back now but with an entirely different emotion._ _

__With a forced calmness, Q, now the Quartermaster once more, looked at his surroundings. Empty computer cases, metal scraps... and the few turret thingies he had managed to take out..._ _

__Give Archimedes a lever and a place to stand, he could move the world. Give Q a computer and he could do much the same._ _

__“James?” Q said calmly, reaching up to adjust his cracked glasses. “Get ready. If I'm half as good as I claim, you should get a pretty good idea of where I am within the next few hours.”_ _

__“Good to have you with us, Q,” Bond smiled._ _


End file.
